It has come to my attention that I need to be more topical with my blog. So In an attempt to satisfy the blogging masses, here goes. Actually I think it's only one person, so that would make it a mass. How big a mass, I won't get into.

The other day, while flipping thru the news, I came across an article about a professor, at University of Wisconsin ,who modified a laser used commonly for eye surgeries to cut cheese. And I quote "Large cutting machines require considerable care to keep cheese from becoming contaminated by bacteria. And it's impossible to slice cheese very thin because it tears or sticks to the cutting blade." I wasn't originally going to comment but....

With school tuitions rising exponentially, do we need a better way to cut cheese? WTF? Is cheese sticking to a knife that much of a problem. What happened to washing the freaking cutting machine? I used to work in a deli and I didn't find it that intrusive to wash the cutting blade. So what happens now?

Customer: Yeah, um, hi. I'd like a half pound of the swiss.

PH.D. candidate/deli guy: Ok sir, as this is a serious piece of equipment and it's far too expensive to fire up for that small amount of cheese, I am going to have to direct you to the 1 pound minimum sign. Also, you will have to sign these waiver forms absolving us of any harm you might incur due to the use of lasers.

Customer: Ok make it a pound. Sorry didn't see the sign.

deli guy: Ok that'll be $73.50.

Customer: WTF? $73.50?

Deli guy: Well sir this is a laser, and you have to realize we have to pass our costs along to the customer.

Second direct quote, this is from the professor himself: "At any other university, people would have just laughed. But this is Wisconsin. It's cheese. And this is no laughing matter," said Xiaochun Li, a mechanical engineering professor and laser expert.

I will leave the rest up to you. On the up side, Imagine what they will have to pay the deli guy to run the laser. And you thought that advanced engineering degree wouldn't get you anywhere. Welcome to Subway!

Finally, the Eagles got slapped around in the NFC Championship. This is the third time in a row. As a Giants fan, I am ambivalent. There is an article in the local birdcage liner (AKA The Morning Call) about how depressed some fans are. The reporter actually interviewed a psychologist about levels of depression. Was this even neccessary? What's next? Mets Fans Anonymous? Hi my name is Joe and the Mets suck ass and I feel really bad about that. Hi Joe (group hug).

Folks, it's a football game. I realize you get wrapped up in the game but you have got to let it go. IT'S A GAME.

So how great a quaterback is McNabb now? Gets to the big game and chokes.

Now back to your regularly scheduled psychosis.